Five Stages of Burnout
What is burnout?
Sweaty palms, pounding heart, wanting to cry for no particular reason, being triggered by something as little as being double texted by someone, feeling frozen and unable to pick up your ringing phone… That’s burnout, my friend.
Burnout definition
Burnout is defined as ‘a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands. It’s as though you’ve reached a tipping point after which you can’t function normally any longer. Everything feels like an effort – getting yourself out of bed, replying to emails, returning phone calls, using spreadsheets, participating in meetings… And your smile is simply gone!
What causes burnout?
Burnout is very often caused by continuous (and ignored) stress at work. It can also be caused by people pleasing behaviours. If you’re constantly bending over backwards to meet others’ needs and deprioritising your own wants and desires in favour of making others happy, it’s very easy to get burnt out.
To summarise, burnout is that feeling that you’ve had enough and you can’t take the emotional weight of other people’s needs any longer.
Burnout symptoms
A recent study has shown that the average professional experiences burnout by the age of 32. So burnout is much more common than people realise!
Burnout is one of those things that is invisible, but once you have it, you’ll know it. Especially in the world we live in right now, it’s become a normal practice to work ourselves to exhaustion, to multitask, to work in highly stressful environments, even if we’re working from home. Stress in small doses can have positive effects on our performance, keeping us excited and more alert, but when it becomes chronic, it can turn us into a bundle of nerves.
Here are a few burnout symptoms:
Dreading going into work and wanting to leave once you’re there (have you ever had that job where you start feeling anxious from Sunday afternoon that Monday is coming up?)
Being easily irritated by colleagues or clients
Having low energy and little interest at work
Having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
Wanting to be on your own a lot
Physical complaints (headaches, illness or backache)
Having thoughts that your work doesn’t have meaning
Feeling that your work and contribution goes unrecognised
Blaming others for your mistakes
You’re often thinking of quitting work, or changing roles
Feeling frozen and anxious when your phone rings
Getting overwhelmed when receiving texts even from people you know and like
Feeling triggered easily – by something as simple as your partner leaving their banana peel on the table or hanging the toilet paper roll backwards Taking things way too personally – is this shop assistant ignoring me for a reason, is this customer service representative mocking me or what?!
The list can go on and on and on, but you get what I mean, right? Feeling too sensitive or too stressed physically and mentally.
The five stages of burnout
Join me on an imaginary journey where a sweet, productive, highly efficient and slightly people-pleaser-y person gradually becomes more and more stressed. Let’s call her Fiona. Here are the five stages of burnout Fiona is gradually going through:
Stage 1 - Honeymoon phase
Fiona starts a new job. She is absolutely in love with her work. She gets a little thrill each time a new task she’s mastered is recognised or rewarded.. FIona is totally immersed in this new job and doesn’t mind the occasional stress because it keeps her energised, productive and excited.
Characteristics:
Job satisfaction
Readily accepting responsibility
Sustained energy levels
Unbridled optimism
Commitment to the job at hand
A compulsion to prove oneself
Free-flowing creativity
High productivity levels
Stage 2 - Onset of stress
Now that Fiona has worked in this new job for a little while, she’s slowly shifting from mostly excitement to now first signs of feeling stressed. She has the occasional down day and is just beginning to notice the more serious negatives of her work environment. This initial stress is starting to take a toll on her emotional health and job satisfaction.
Characteristics:
High blood pressure
Inability to focus
Irritability
Job dissatisfaction
Lack of sleep or reduced sleep quality
Lack of social interaction
Lower productivity
Unusual heart rhythms
Anxiety
Avoidance of decision making
Change in appetite or diet
Fatigue
Forgetfulness
General neglect of personal needs
Grinding your teeth at night
Headaches
Heart palpitations
Stage 3 - Chronic stress
Fiona is now fully immersed in her highly stressful, fast-paced working environment. Without realising it, she’s started to work way too much and neglect other areas of her life like hobbies, seeing friends, and having sex. She’s drinking too much alcohol and coffee, and she’s getting easily irritable.
Characteristics:
Lack of hobbies
Missed work deadlines and/or targets
Persistent tiredness in the mornings
Physical illness
Procrastination at work and at home
Repeated lateness for work
Resentfulness
Social withdrawal from friends and/or family Uptake of escapist activities
Anger or aggressive behaviour
Apathy
Chronic exhaustion
Cynical attitude
Decreased sexual desire
Denial of problems at work or at home
Feeling threatened or panicked
Feeling pressured or out of control
Increased alcohol/drug consumption
Increased caffeine consumption
Stage 4 - Burnout
Whoosh! We’re here now. Poor Fiona, how did she go from being in love with work to now being a bundle of nerves? Like the Portuguese like to say, she’s gone from 8 to 80!
She’s now extremely moody and has entered the burnout phase itself. Fiona’s symptoms have become critical. It’s become difficult for her to function normally and she’s desperately trying to escape reality because she simply can’t take this for much longer. Her friends can feel the changes, and boy is her company not as much fun as it used to be!
Characteristics:
Development of an escapist mentality
Feeling empty inside
Obsession over problems at work or in life
Pessimistic outlook on work and life
Physical symptoms intensify and/or increase
Self-doubt
Social isolation
Behavioural changes
Chronic headaches
Chronic stomach or bowel problems
Complete neglect of personal needs
Continuation or increase in escapist activities
Desire to “drop out” of society
Desire to move away from work or friends/family
Stage 5 - Habitual burnout
Bless her. Fiona is now officially trapped in chronic burnout mode. She’s now so stressed so often, that she doesn’t remember how it feels to be calm and grounded anymore. She’s very likely developed physical and emotional problems which are affecting her love life, social life, body composition and her general quality of life.
Characteristics:
Chronic sadness
Depression
Burnout syndrome
Chronic mental fatigue
Chronic physical fatigue
Let’s not get there! Poor Fiona is really stressed and unhappy and will now take some time to reset and realign herself. In the case of burnout, you have to be fast and kill the stress before it kills you (or your wellbeing)! The good news is that you can both prevent and remedy burnout, so it’s a condition that is fully treatable if taken care of.
Burnout prevention
What is the best way to deal with any medical or physical condition? Avoid it in the first place! Now that you know how to recognise the initial symptoms and the more ‘advanced’ stages of burnout, do your best to live your life in a way that will keep you balanced and calm.
Start spotting the signs before burnout becomes chronic. The occasional stressful day here and there won’t harm anyone and in fact can be good for productivity. But feeling like you want to run away or hide from the world, or that the smallest thing can trigger tears or outbursts of anger are all signs of burnout and let me tell you, it ain’t fun!
Most conditions can become chronic, if ignored, or prevented, f caught on time. Burnout is no exception and can easily be prevented. Here is how:
Don’t let it get to that state – have good morning routines, reflective journal
Look after yourself before it’s too late – “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
Have firm boundaries – at work and with needy friends or partners Perform a job analysis, eliminate or outsource unnecessary work
Delegate – including childcare, cleaning your home, admin tasks at work Take control and actively manage your time – remove anything that doesn’t serve you
Get more exercise – a 15-minute HIIT workout, a little dance in your PJs, a walk in your nearest park all count
Learn how to manage stress – e.g. meditation, sport, doing yoga or journalling
Say no often and respectfully – don’t be afraid to turn down requests for additional work or favours for friends – the more you say no and become more mindful of your time and energy levels, the more people will respect you, and the better you’ll be doing your job.
How to cope with a burnout
If you haven’t managed to avoid chronic stress and have left it to grow, develop and turn into a full-blown burnout, worry not, we can still fix it!
Here are five things you can do to cope with it:
1. Consider taking time off work
There is no shame in telling your employer you can’t cope with work any more and that you need some time off. If you speak to your GP who upon checking you finds out you really have issues with stress right now, they can formally sign you off work. Take off as much time as you need to recover. If you can’t focus on sending a single email or feel like crying when you have your one-to-one catch ups with your manager, it means you need a break.
2. Go for a walk
If you ‘force’ yourself to go for an hour-long walk each day (preferably, far away from busy streets), this can work like a charm. The more you surround yourself by green, quiet places, the more you’ll heal from that build-up of stress.
3. Talk to a friend
‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’ – these aren’t empty words and they are often used for a reason. Good friends are here for us for the good times but also for the bad, stressful, unpleasant times. When you share your woes with friends, our problems start feeling much smaller. Saying things out loud crystalises what worries us almost immediately (especially in the case of women, it’s simply how we’re wired). Finding empathy and acknowledgement that our feelings are valid can make us feel much, much better.
Of course, be careful not to overdo it, you don’t want your friends to start feeling exhausted after speaking with you. If you find that you need to talk about your burnout in more detail and more often, seek professional help. Therapists are there for you to listen and to offer professional advice.
4. Watch an enjoyable TV show or a fun YouTube channel
Netflix therapy = an inexpensive and highly effective way to distract yourself from reality. You can watch comedy shows, actions, thrillers, even horrors when you get spooked out for a few hours after or dramas where you cry your eyes out. It’s such a good way to shift your focus away from your current issues. It lets you try on a different set of emotions, like you would a friend’s jacket. Laughter suits everyone’s complexion.
YouTube videos are very effective. I like watching tutorials about WordPress, social media engagement, Photoshop, Lightroom or just influencers who are showing their new kitchen or unboxing their latest drone or motorbike. If fact, I probably prefer this option to Netflix because the videos are shorter and easier to consume.
Helpful tip: TikTok is just as good! It’s one of my secret weapons against insomnia. Seriously, it’s so entertaining that whatever has been on my mind that day disappears when I see those silly dances, single girls manifestos or hot guys who are getting shirtless just because they have ads that would be criminal to hide!
5. Small, but regular self-care gestures
Spas are currently closed in most parts of the world because of the pandemic, but doing self-care rituals at home is just as good! Take a bath or a longer shower, light some candles, dance to a favourite song, buy yourself some fairy lights, get your partner to massage you (or do it yourself using a foam roller or massage tools), eat some truffles, drink some tea, do a meditation, join a Zoom yoga class, do a sweaty workout.
Self-care to me is any form of pampering, time to myself and making an effort to nurture my body and soul. It’s my way to show love to my full being and it’s one of my fastest ways to combat burnout.
Doing any of these anti-burnout activities will add up over time and it will help you heal gradually without the need for medication! Even a glass of wine here and there can be helpful, as long as you don’t drink a bottle a day.
There is a very important note I’d like to make – if you are able to let a little of that anger go and realise how serious you’ve become lately, it will dramatically speed up the recovery process. Seriously, it’s not the end of the world that you’ve let yourself burn out. It sucks and it could’ve been prevented, but it’s here now and it won’t last forever!
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